Tess Play

"Mommy, will you play with me?"
"What do you want to play?"
"I'll be the Mommy and you be the Daddy."
"OK, what are we going to do?"
"Well, I'm rocking the baby and you can clean up the blocks."

Should I be worried the the Mommy always tends to get the better deal in Tess's imaginative play? ;)

September 5, 2012

Memories of right now...

• We are all counting down the days until "Baby Sister" arrives. Me most of all. The humid days kill me and I'm sick, sick, sick of this huge belly.
• Tess starts preschool today, though after going last spring and then again to summer school, it doesn't feel like that big a deal.
• Tess and Eric love to wrestle and tease. I'm so happy he can play with her like that since I feel unable to be the jungle gym she's longing for. Last night he held her by the ankles and swung her like a pendulum so high that her head almost reached his shoulders. She couldn't get enough.
• We are setting up the house, washing clothes and blankets, and rearranging furniture.
• After 10 years of not owning a car, Eric and I bought one two weeks ago. We love it.
• Tess broke her arm 10 days ago and is sporting a red cast. Other than not being able to pull up her underwear or wash her hands, she's pretty unphased by the whole experience.
• Tess really likes the alphabet right now and tells me she wants to be able to spell.
• Eric and I keep trying to remember what newborns are like. And we keep trying to fathom having two kids to love and care for. Both seem impossible to truly imagine.
• Things that make Tess laugh a lot:
• Ernie and Bert on Sesame Street
• Pretending that she's a "clump of goo" on the floor
• doing things that bother people and make them frustrated (don't love this one)
• Hiding and having someone look for her while she makes lots of noise

Tess's First Family Portrait

Drawn at school

Her teacher asked how old her baby sister is, and Tess replied, "she's not out yet."

Conversations with Tess

Tess's commentary on my belly this morning:
"Mom, you sure are a baby carrier!"

***********************

Tess: "Mommy, you said there was blood on the subway."
Me: "What?! There isn't blood on the subway. What do you mean?"
T: "Yes Mommy. Yesterday, when it was raining, you said there was blood on the subway."
M: "Oh! I said there was a flood on the subway. Do you know what a flood is?"
She didn't, so I explained that and how when it rains a lot the subways can flood.
T: "And then Daddy can't come home from work. He just has to stay at work. Like that day. And then he takes a boat."
M: "No, Daddy didn't take a boat."

Ice Cream

Yesterday Tess and I met Eric and his friend Paul in the city for lunch. Eric has half-day Fridays all summer, and so we're trying to meet him for some special lunches and outings on a weekly basis. We found ourselves at Jacques Torres chocolate store later that afternoon, and Tess got a delicious chocolate ice cream. As I was helping her get seated, I said, "Tess, what a delicious ice cream cone."

"Mommy I like ice cream!" she told me in a very serious voice. "I like it so much I want it every day. But you say 'no' everyday. Except today. Today you said 'yes,' so I got ice cream."

At least she understands how the world works. :)

21 Weeks

I have reached the stage where the belly is starting to bump into things, like the counter when I'm doing dishes. And I have to lay on my side when I sleep.

Tess climbed into bed to wake me up this morning and her first question to me was, "how is Baby Sister?" After I told her she was good. Tess told me another list of things that she was going to teach her: how to cut and rip paper, put on stickers, write with markers, and glue!

I'm leaving for a five-day trip to San Francisco on Thursday. It's a big deal. It will be the longest stretch by far that Tess and I have ever been separated. Last night Tess asked me if Baby Sister was going to stay with her and Dada or leave with me. I told her that Baby Sister pretty much goes everywhere I go these days, and that made Tess sad all over again. "But I don't want Baby Sister to leave!"

Playing Teacher

This morning, I set up a sheet of paper for Tess to decorate as she wanted. For the longest time, she was singing a little song as she colored all over the paper. Something like, "Color the paper," sung over and over again to various tunes. It reminded me of Frances from the Frances books, and I snuck up to get a video of it. Just as I started the video, she stopped singing, but then started this game instead.

For Mother's Day, Tess made me a card at school, and on the inside, it said, "Thank you for the hugs." So I quickly recognized this as Tess pretending that she is her teacher at her school. She's pretending to ask the kids, "What do you want to say to your Mommy?" And then she's writing that and saying, "OK, Thank you for the kisses. Write down message. What else do you want to say?" "This says..."

I was charmed.

Sharing the News

I finally decided to talk with Tess about the new baby. I've been holding off, because I didn't want the nine months to stretch on as an eternity for her. But she's starting to hurt me when she wants to climb and jump on me, so I decided it was time.

Yesterday I sat her down with an ultrasound picture of the baby and explained that this was a picture of a baby.
"Oh, is that me when I was a baby?" Tess asked.
"No, that's a picture of the baby inside my tummy."
She stared at my belly and felt around, confused at first. "But Mommy, I can't see the baby. The baby isn't outside yet."
"That's right. The baby is still growing. But one day she will come out, and you will be a big sister."

Once that began to sink in, Tess was super excited. "I'm going to be a big sister! And Mommy I will help you with the baby. I can help you put it to sleep, and nurse it, and take care of it Mommy!"

We talked some more about her being a big sister, and about her baby sister, and after a couple of minutes and a quiet pause, Tess announced, "I'm going to tell Daddy!"

Since sharing the news, Tess loves to talk about "her baby sister" and "her baby." She asked me, "Mommy, can we take my baby sister in the car tomorrow? Can she come with us? Will she like the car?"

She's also started listing all the things that she will teach her baby sister. Including: How to run. How to splash in the bathtub.  How to wear a headband in her hair. How to ride a scooter. And many more life skills.

I'm sure the jealousy and the hard parts of sharing the parental attention will come later, but for now we have one little girl who is counting the days until she can meet her little sister.

Sick Again

I've been wanting to post some pictures of myself, pregnant. And a picture of the cute Mother's Day presents Tess made at school. But today I am sick...AGAIN. I seem to have caught some virus from Tess and have a sore throat, runny nose, general aches and fatigue. I feel like I have been sick more than I have been healthy over the last 20 weeks. In fact, that might be true. So I'm putting on more movies, making tea, and trying to rest as much as possible while watching a three year old.

Painting

Tess has loved watercolor painting for a while now, doing it almost every day. Just a few days ago, she realized that she could paint with her fingers rather than a brush, and that has been her preferred method ever since. Yesterday she rubbed her eye while painting. It made for an interesting look. (I wish I could have gotten a better shot of her painted on black eye, but she didn't want to hold still.)

Here's the painting:

Week Day Play

Tess has hit a super-social phase lately, and when we are home she almost never settles into playing by herself. She begs me to call up one of her friends, is happiest when spending the day hopping from one playdate to another, and if no friends are available, then she wants either TV or my constant attention.

So it was a fun break one afternoon to stumble upon this work when walking home from visiting a friend. Tess asked to stay and watch for over half-an-hour while the backhoe ripped up the road and loaded it into a dump truck.

It was noisy, but fascinating.

There was one brief period of time Friday afternoon where she settled into her own play. She had been taking her dog for a walk around the house, and then asked for my help tying him up, because she needed to go shopping.

Hide-and-Seek with a Three Year Old

Tess loves the game of hide-and-seek right now, though her version of the game is still very simple. She understands the counting, and loves to say "ready or not, here I come," but she doesn't like to close her eyes (she needs to see where you are hiding). And though she can count quite well up to about 15, she never counts up to any particular number when playing the game. She will ask me, "what I have to count to?" I often say, "ten," and then she counts, "one, two, TEN!" So I've started mixing it up, and regardless of the number I give her, she always counts, "one, two, FIVE!" or "one, two, TWENTY!" Etc.

Once she's free to start hunting, she quickly runs into another room, and then becomes frustrated if she can't find you after five seconds. She starts calling out for you, and you usually have to give yourself up, which is met with excited squeals.

When Tess hides, she can hardly contain her excitement. She is almost always in plain sight, but when we pretend to not see her and start to look elsewhere, she instantly gives herself up, screaming, "here I am!"

Covering your face with your hands also counts as hiding, as does throwing a blanket over yourself. I've tried both of these strategies in lazier moments.

Time with Eric

Tess calls the weekends "Dada no go to work days." Here's how one Saturday played out with lots of extra "Dada time."

First they made bread (at 6am). Eric has started moving the operation to the floor so Tess can help easily.

That afternoon we had to make a trip to Woodside, which gave us an excuse to try a new burger place that's connected to a famous butcher shop. The burgers and fries were SO good.

While waiting for our meal, a game of hide-and-seek was played. Tess is roping us into this game whenever possible these days. Eric is a more willing player.

Tess hides while Eric counts.

He found her! (What a surprise.)

Tess counts while Eric hides.

Hmm, could this lump here be him?

Tess is trying out a new scooter that we borrowed from a friend. It's a hit. Eric loves a chance to ride his bike.

Tess tries it out.

Spring

At the beginning of April, we had a few nice stretches of weather so warm we were breaking out the summer dresses. Tess was thrilled to be able to wear her "Easter dress."

Everything bloomed about a month early, and it's been gorgeous to walk around the neighborhood for the last six weeks or so.

We also were excited to get the news a couple of weeks ago that we will be having another girl. Here she is:

I celebrated by buying ice cream. It really was that warm. :)

Then it turned cold and rainy again, and we have been wondering where that summer weather went. Meanwhile, there have been lots of birthday parties in the neighborhood as many of our friends from the Jackson Heights Spring Babies '09 group turn three. Here's some dark (Iphone) shots from one party. The theme was "pink." There seems to be a girly-explosion going on amongst the three-year-old girls here.

And then this week I finally walked into a salon and got Tess a much-needed haircut. Here's the super-cute results:

"Daddy Tell Me About Work That You Go To"

Tess has started what now feels like a ritual at our house. Most nights during dinner, she turns to Eric and tells him, "Daddy tell me about work that you go to."

Eric then tries to describe his day in language that Tess will understand. (When he slips in a story for my behalf, Tess gets irritated and repeats her question until he gets back on track.) Usually this involves listing the people that Eric has talked with, and sometimes Eric will add in other details or visuals to try and make it interesting.

The comical result of this is that Tess now knows all of Eric's colleagues' names, and she considers herself part of the clan.

"Dina and Shenaz are girls. And I am a girl," she'll tell me. And when she got a new Easter dress, she wanted Eric to take her picture in it and show it to Dina and Shenaz. And then the next day, she also wanted to make sure that Joe, and Steve, and Mike saw it, too. "They will really like it!" she assured Eric.

Captured on Iphone

I have not been taking or uploading pictures much lately. But I thought I'd share a few that I took on my phone, because it's been a long while since I put up some new pictures.

We've been to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens recently to enjoy the beautiful spring blooms.

Tess stopped in front of this sign and started "reading" it. "And then the Mommy said...And they had to go to their house..." and so on and so on. When I told her it was time to go, she turned to me and in an exasperated voice told me, "Mommy I'm reading!"

She's done napping most days, but then there are the days where I find her crashed somewhere, late in the afternoon.

Lots of her friends have been having birthdays recently. She doesn't like it when I tell her they are all turning three. "I am three!" she tells me. "They can be five." But she has really liked the opportunity to wear her rose dress to all these parties.

Also, according to Tess, five, twenty-five, thirty-five, it's all the same age!

Conversations This Morning

This morning we had to get ready and drive out to our family dentist. It was a big day, because Tess had her first teeth cleaning and check-up. I was tickled, though, by Tess this morning and thought I'd share the scene.

As I was drying off after my shower, Eric came into the bathroom to get something and Tess followed right behind him holding a small book of Sayings and Wit by Mark Twain. (She liked the size, so she's claimed it from our bookshelf.)
"I've packed a bag with snacks, and I got her dressed, so I think we're ready to go," Eric told me.
"Daddy, you have to look at my book," Tess said, holding her book open to a picture of Mark Twain, "it will tell us where to go. We have to go this way, or," she flipped to a new page, "this way Daddy."
Eric didn't really hear her as he was still talking to me about the day, "I packed some books, but she didn't want to bring any toys."
"Oh! Daddy, I showed you the magnets," Tess said.
"You want to bring the magnets?" Eric replied in surprise. "There are too many, Tess. You have to pick just a few special magnets."
Eric was leaving the room now, and Tess followed him out looking intently at her book. In a very matter of fact voice, she told him, "Daddy, it says right here that you have to take a few and a lot. I have to take a lot, Daddy, look at my book!"

****
Tess did great at her first cleaning. She's been watching Eric and me get fillings for a long time, and she was thrilled to finally get her turn. She insisted on going first, climbed right into the chair, followed instructions, and was great the whole time.

The hygienist counted her teeth, and she asked her, "Tess, when do you brush your teeth?"
Tess replied, "um, Monday and Friday."

Then she had to choose a flavor for the polish. "Bubble gum, cotton candy, or grape?"
"I want pink," Tess told her.
Then again when it was time for a fluoride treatment, she could have orange or cherry, and she chose pink.

****
No cavities this time, though there's a little concern about some developing in the molars. More brushing and more fluoride.

Human Suffering

We were at Eric's Aunt Bette's for Passover this weekend. She has a wooden statue of a weeping Buddha. Tess couldn't figure out what she was looking at when she first encountered it. She asked me several questions, and I finally demonstrated the pose to help her see the head in his hands. Then she got it.

"Oh," she said gravely, "does he miss his Mommy?"

Her Play

Tess's play right now involves all kinds of tiny props that are chosen with care. Often the play is as much about choosing the toys and loading them into buckets or purses as it is about doing something with those objects. Lately she will load up a couple of buckets or bags with toys, put them on her scooter handlebars, and then scoot around the apartment pretending to go visit someone. Eric and I hear her saying things like, "Bye, Sarah. I like your house. I will come back later." or "Do you want to see my horses, Sarah."

I decided to photograph the after-effects of her play one day while she was at school. This is what was I found. (It had been a really tidy day. Usually I find much bigger messes.):

She has a set of animal cards and insects cards from my Mom. She likes to lay them all out and ask me which animals I've seen and which animals she's seen. She had been looking at the insect cards in her room, and was super excited when she found a monarch caterpillar, because she had seen those at Nana's house last month.

Some of her precious objects left in the foyer. She loves little books, even ones without a story inside. She likes to sit with them and make up something. The other objects are just ones that she has decided are special that day for reasons that aren't clear to me.

She loves painting and coloring with markers right now. Often I'll set her up with water paints while I shower in the morning. This is what she finished that day.

This is her "Lasso Rope" aka "Blasto Rope." Alicia (from Diego) has a magic rope that she uses to lasso all kinds of objects. It's her equivalent of Diego's magic rescue pack. So, Tess decided long ago that my tape measure was her blasto rope. (She thought Alicia was saying, "blasto.") She walks around "blastoing" things like Eric and me or anything else in her path.

Tess packed this purse for a trip we took into Manhattan to go to my doctor. This is an example of what she considered important. (She never took anything out of her bag during the trip.) It's like an I Spy game. :) Can you find the lone cufflink? What about the shell?

Tip-Toe-Tap

Is what Tess calls tic-tac-toe. Though whatever the name, I still can't convince her to follow the rules. She has her own objectives.

Tess Starts Preschool

Though I imagined that Tess would start school this fall, or probably summer, our family needs have changed recently, and I decided to enroll Tess in the nearby preschool two afternoons a week. I didn't expect there to be space, but as chance would have it, someone had just left, opening a space. When I suggested the idea to Tess, it took about one minute of explaining before she told me, "Yes, OK, I want to go. I want to go to school."

Monday we went to enroll, and Tess was upset that she couldn't start that instant. Tuesday morning she woke up talking about school to everyone she met. She was READY.

Turns out our first day was a party day for the class. They have been learning about multiculturalism, being an extremely diverse group of kids, and yesterday they each dressed up in some outfit representing their family's heritage and put on a short performance for the parents. Then we ate a potluck of party food.

Tess needed me to stay with her when we arrived. I suggested that I could leave a couple of times, and she instantly burst into tears, so I stayed. She was happy to go join the class, and often left me, but I could see the stress on her face and how she just needed to know I was there. Her eyes followed everything, taking it all in, trying so hard to follow along as if she knew just what to do.

When I told Tess about the day's activities, I explained that she didn't have to do the dance if she didn't want to. But she insisted, "No! I want to dance with the kids!" So she joined in despite having no previous experience. She watched the teacher and kids for cues, and did about as well as any of them--two and three year-olds being distractible and all. :)

I video taped the three songs:

They enter. (Tess knew she was supposed to wave to the parents. The hair chewing is a new nervous habit that has developed. Guiding preschoolers is not for the faint of heart.)


Second Song:


Third Song:


After the performance, Tess stayed with me, but then started to venture out to approach some of the kids. She would walk up to someone and start just telling a long story about some animal she knew or her cousin Ida. The other children would look at her strangely, wondering what she could be talking about, but Tess didn't seem to notice. And when we were putting on our coats, Tess approached one girl and gave her a hug, which surprised me and the little girl. But the girl recovered and hugged Tess back, making us all happy.

So now we are all looking forward to Thursday. Yay! School!

Bookaboo

http://bookaboo.ning.com/video/103820-bookaboo-meat-loaf

(The link goes to a 12 minute excerpt of Meatloaf reading the story to Bookaboo.)

I learned about this great reading of "The Lamb Who Came to Dinner" from a high school friend who posted it on Pinterest. Tess LOVES the story, and has watched it several times over the last few days. Tonight at dinner, she launched into this complicated retelling/acting out of the story for us. When she started it a second time, I grabbed my phone and started to record it. I missed the opening, but here's the majority of the story as told by Tess: (You may want to watch the story from the link above for reference.)



At the end, Tess asks "Mommy tell me about the bison." A couple of days ago I told her a story about how a herd of bison walked right around our car in South Dakota. She loves the story, and wants me to retell it over and over, and then she loves to retell it. We are in a big "retelling" thing right now.

Teaching her to carry her baby African style

Gingerbread Cookies (from December)

Tess helped me cut out some gingerbread cookies this year.

Ready to begin? "I want to do it, Mommy!"

 Press hard.

 Add some flour, so the dough doesn't get too sticky.

 She took great care to roll out the bit I left for her.

 Can't say we really got any more cookies out of it, though. ;)

Happiness is a "moussey" chocolate cake

Even though I swore it was too rich for a kid's birthday party, Eric and Tess insisted that I get the chocolate mousse cake. Tess couldn't have been more delighted, and she scarfed that thing down! It was almost too rich for me, but she had no trouble polishing off her piece.

(Paul is reaching over with a napkin there. Tess is single-minded in her purpose.)